There comes a time in everyone's life when they have to close the chapter that they're currently on and move forward to the next chapter. Moving forward to tough, physically, mentally and emotionally. And personally, those people that are constantly happy every.single.moment.of.life get on my nerves.
Recently, I found out something that is gong to change my life, for the better, hopefully.
I've been living in Pakistan for the past eight years and it has been - in one word- difficult. Adjusting to a completely different situation was an insane experience but I learnt a fathomable amount of things along the way.
I found out that I'm moving back to Australia. I don't know what will happen there, or how it'll happen but I have this intense feeling that it's all going to be okay.
I'll be living with my Dad until my Mum and younger brothers fly in at the end of the year but I'll be leaving in June. It's going to be tough to leave my Mum and baby brothers but you gotta do what you gotta do. I'm excited but at the same time, lurching with anxiety.
In depth of anxiety or whatever this constant feeling is, I wrote a couple of things, promises to myself if you will, but nevertheless:
- I feel a lot like Bilbo Baggins. He had an unexpected journey and so am I. I have been begging to go back since we first got here and now that I am I feel like a Hobbit. Confused, lost and hungry. But this is part of the adventure, part of the ride. So I'm going to embrace this change and make the most of it.
- I started to become a drone living here. I forgot how to live, be happy and enjoyt the little things. I'm now going to try to live - at least a little. Volunteer, learn new things, hang out with family members who live there. I'm going to try to go a bit higher in this hole that I've been in, that I live in.
- I'm going to be studying there, so this time I am not going to let my marks / grades define me as a person.
- Seeing as though my Mum will be here, I'm going to have to do the cooking, cleaning, shopping - all that shit. But I'm going to do them so well, that no one will know what hit them.
- I've been quiet for a majority of my life. I've let people rule me but not now. Now I'm my own Queen. I shall stop letting people tell me what to do. I will stop being quiet and let people stamp on me and put words in my mouth.
I honestly don't even know what's going to happen, but I hope and pray with all my heart that this new adventure is better than the last.