Friday, July 3, 2015

Rock Bottom | What if's at 2 AM

I wonder how many doors need to shut in one’s face for a happy ever after?

Well far too many doors for me.

It’s a complete loss of self-esteem and confidence when you’ve applied for over, well let’s say, ten jobs and haven’t received a single callback.  It’s honestly the worst thing to pop your balloon. I feel like the poop emoji right now. It feels like I was ten steps forward to only fall ten steps back.

It’s just become this situation in life where just one win would be really nice.
Ugh.

It’s so frustrating to not be able to do anything and to feel this helpless. It’s a terrible feeling.

The world is a huge place with infinite possibilities, so does it seem like such a lonely and hopeless place for me?

This is so much I want to do and see but it’s not happening. I feel stuck. Nay. I am stuck. And to tell you the truth, I’d rather be peeling onions then to be feeling like this.

The world is moving on without me and I feel like stopping it and telling it to slow down and maybe wait for me. I want to move with it not behind it.


When did I stop believing in the magic of the world and start believing the stark reality of rent bills and grocery lists? Isn’t there a pause button? I’d really like one please.